Hidden Feelings
by alpha2nd2003
Summary: DullindalXAthrun Basically following the series to a point and making having Dullindal and Athrun fall in love...Slight AU
1. Default Chapter

Okay, as the summary specifically stated…this is YAOI, which means guy squared. Got it? So, if you don't like it, please take your mouse in your hand and click the 'back' button to go and choose something more suitable for you. I warned you, so don't go and flame me. And yaoi-lovers, also stated in the summary is DullindalxAthrun; really, the first of its kind…at least to my knowledge, and if you don't like this pairing because it's weird please, also click the 'back' button. I don't want flames and I don't need them.

Also this fic is based on what I can remember from the 12 or so episodes I have watched, they are most likely NOT accurate.

Disclaimer: I would love to own GSEED…well actually I would like to own ANY anime but I don't so don't sue me please .

On with the story!

_Italics thoughts_

"Writing"speech

Dullindal's POV

_He's so beautiful _is what I thought when I first saw him. But I wished he weren't hiding in the shadows…or behind those sunglasses. He bows to me as we make eye contact. _Such a respectful one, and cute too. He thinks he can hide his identity by remaining in the shadow of the ORB princess and using a fake name…_Sigh. I really wanted to observe the former chairman's son rather than listen to the Atha Princess talk about ZAFT's movements, but I am the Chairman, so I must take the responsibilities that come with the job, including diplomatic affairs.

I couldn't believe it. Three of the new Zaft Gundam's were stolen and all I could do was run for cover to the Minerva. Not that anyone would let me do anything else. Apparently I'm too precious to lose. I'm not being an egotist, just stating the facts.

Everything's all going to ruin…

I wasn't happy at all about the breech in security…or the fact that the Minerva was launched earlier than planned in order to chase the thieves, but there was nothing I could do. The Gundams had to be retrieved. I wasn't ecstatic about going along for the ride, but I didn't mind it too much either. This would give me a lot of experience.

Well, as much as I was please before about this…trip…I'm even more pleased now. It seems the princess and her bodyguard made it on board as well. Bit at the same time, I was disappointed.

He never paid attention to me unless I initiated the conversation first. I wanted to see those emeralds look at me, be captivated by me, but no. Right now, those striking eyes belonged to Orb's princess. He cared only for her, comforted only her. This whole situation has been bad for me too. I am the Chairman and to have let this happen right under my nose is unthinkable.

Okay. Maybe now I'm being an egotist. But I can't help it.

Its almost unbelievable how little confidence Athrun has in himself. Well, maybe he just thinks its not his place anymore to develop military strategies. But he should realize that if it will save the whole crews lives, he should just speak up and not regret it.

Back then, during the battle against the "Bogey 1," every time he spoke up he instantly shut his mouth up and looked ashamed. I hated it and to try to alleviate his stress, I encouraged Talia to listen to him.

Did the Orb Princess do this to him? Did she make him quiet, submitting person? If it were I, I wouldn't allow him to hide himself. I would make him sure of himself.

Its not fair. But then again life isn't. If it were, none of us would be here chasing after thieves who stole very important, and destructive I might add, technology.

I'm getting depressed. I know I want him. But he might not want me. And besides that, I can't tell him that I love him now. Everything is just falling apart.

Now I'm regretting ever stepping on this ship. He's so close, yet so far away. I want to be with him, but can't. He is so fragile right now, yet pretends to be strong, for Cagalli.

The Princess. Always she is in my thoughts, just because she. Has. Him. I don't hate the girl. I'm jealous of her, but I feel no hatred for her. She's a good person. She wants to protect her people and keep the peace. I wish for the same.

I'm getting extremely depressed now. I need to stop thinking. But I can't. I need something to distract me.

Hmmmm…..

Nothing. Nothing but Athrun. This is getting to be a problem. Especially for a certain part of my anatomy (A.N. Ahhh! Can't believe I wrote this…)

I need to…release my…frustration. But how? I don't want to use my hands…I want to feel someone else heat with mine. Preferably Athrun, but that's not going to happen.

Maybe…her.

Sigh.

That was horribly wicked of me.

Talia is a good person and yet I just used her like that.

I didn't even think about her. As my body moved against her as we were…"exercising," all I could think about was Athrun.

I imagined it was his throat that I was making marks on. Marks that would mean that he was mine. I imagined it was his moans that I was hearing. Oh how I wanted it to be his voice panting my name. Wanted to move my body against HIS. Feel HIS skin covered with a light sheen of sweat from our activities. I wanted to be inside HIM. To come inside HIM. Everything him, him, him, him, him….

Maybe I'm way too obsessed. Sigh. But I can't help it.

I can't look at her now because I know she will see that I'm a terrible person for doing this to her. So I just read a datapad. But even as I look at it, I don't read it. I'm still thinking about the heated activity I was doing just moments before. I didn't even yell out as I came because I knew I would call out his name. I had to bite my lip to prevent myself from saying it, and I really wanted to say it.

And now something's happened. I'm glad that Arthur called in. It would be very awkward for me to get away from this bedroom any other way.

This is bad. Junius 7 will crash into the Earth. And I thought things were bad before. Sigh.

The Orb princess goes wild. She really cares for the people. I promise her that we will do whatever we can. I care too.

Its getting too dangerous. The battle is raging. And Talia tells me that their having the ship go through the atmosphere.

I'm sad to leave, but I must, as Chairman I'm a necessary person for PLANT. Especially for the crisis that will surely result from this event.

The princess…she's important too, and yet she stays for him; I wish I could do the same. Nothing would give me more relief than to see Athrun walk in through the bridge doors and smile. That smile would not be for me I know, but I would like to see it all the same.

Funny that I feel this way since it was I who approved his launch in the first place. But I couldn't help it. Ever since I first saw him, his dazzling emerald eyes were the first thing I noticed. I could tell that they were sad even when they were covered with those sunglasses. It pains me to see them like that, but all I can do is help him by saying a few well chosen sentences and giving him meaningful looks…at least I hope that's what I'm showing him. I'd like to do more for him I don't want him to see the love I have for him, not yet. He's already too confused about his future.

I can only stare out the window of the shuttle to see the battle rage on, hoping that I have not sent my angel to his doom.

Yes, I forgot to add the Talia thing earlier and I was reminded by a reviewer for the next chapter. Sooooo, I decided to add stuff. Chapter 3 may be up sometime soon.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay…so like, the story line of GSD COMPLETELY ruined this story, so now…it is AU to fit my needs.

Countvampire: Heh, sorry its been awhile, and yes, I was looking for this pairing too a while back, when it made some slight sense, but now its more like a wildcard. Oh well! Like I said to someone before, I like weird pairings.

Disclaimer: I don't own GSD. DARN!

_I can only stare out the window of the shuttle to see the battle rage on, hoping that I have not sent my angel to his doom…_

Athrun POV

_Peace huh?...But the truth of it is that these really are troubling times…_ I ate my breakfast in silence, remembering the events that had happened recently. We were just going to ensure peace, and now only war is ensured. I can tell. The people are restless and blaming PLANT for the Junius Seven incident.

"Athrun!" I turn to see Cagalli coming toward me, a regretful look on her face. "I'm really sorry about yesterday Athrun, I was at the Administration all day, and starting in the morning, I have a cabinet meeting that'll last the whole day…So I don't have time to sit and talk with you. So…"

"Its fine, I understand. Don't worry about it" _You're an important person here, it would be selfish of me to take up your time when your country needs you_. I asked her about the situation in Orb, and I as I suspected, it was bad. As much as I wanted to help, there was nothing I could do here in Orb. Cagalli is the only one who has the power to do that. There's only one thing I can do to help Orb and Cagalli… "I'm going to visit PLANT" She protested feebly, but it didn't matter. Even if she yelled at me, I would still go, I was worried about what might be happening in PLANT. I told her that I was going to talk with the Chairman, to see what he was going to do and what was going to happen. And I told myself that that was the only reason I was going to see him; that I didn't feel inexplicably drawn to him, that I didn't just want to hear his deep voice and see his strong and prominent face. I don't know where that was coming from but it doesn't matter.

111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

I waited as the plane landed. Cagalli was beside me. "Athrun…"

"I'm sorry Cagalli, but I really must go." I turned and gave her a small hug before walking to the plane. When I got in, I looked through the window and saw Cagalli standing in the same place as the plane lifted off.

(notice I omit that whole ring giving thing…that event DOESN'T EXIST here)

111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

I waited patiently for the Chairman. I knew he would be busy but I was extremely nervous. I don't know if I was nervous about seeing him to talk about PLANTs actions or if I was just nervous about seeing him. I don't know what has come over me, so I stand up. The man next to me looks at me, so I tell him that I'm just going to wash my face.

After I wash my face in the bathroom, I look at myself in the mirror. I don't like what I see at all, so I scowl. I don't know who I am or what I want anymore. Whatever resolve I had at the end of the war dissipated quickly. Lately, I've been feeling unsubstantial, like I'm just a shadow. I suppose that is what I am. All I ever do is silently follow Cagalli around. And maybe that's why I'm here now. To prove that I exist, that I am of some use to Cagalli. She's been so good to me, I feel like I owe her, this conference is the least I can do.

All thoughts of nervousness leave me as I leave the bathroom to walk back to the waiting room. While walking up the steps, I hear a familiar voice. I recognize it and rush up to see none other than Lacus standing at the top of another staircase _But it can't be! She's in Orb with Kira…isn't she?_ She sees me and runs to me and hugs me. She says some things to me, but I'm in too much of a daze to say much. She says something else and then turns to leave with two men I don't know. I can only stare after her in shock.

Dullindal POV

The incident with the nukes was an annoyance. I'm still talking with Board members as I walk down a hallway. I see the back of a familiar figure clad in a black jacket and black slacks. I immediately recognize the person as the one who holds my affections from the moment I saw him.

"Alex" I almost called out his true name. I don't like the one he dons now. Alex Dino. Its so bland, it doesn't match a magnificent person like him. Athrun Zala. Such a unique name, it could also be considered an exotic name. And it rolls off the tongue so nicely as well. He turns to face me. "Oh, I had an appointment to meet with you?" Stupid question to ask. I knew that I did. It didn't even leave my mind during the missile crisis. I remember how ecstatic I was to hear that HE wanted to meet with me, and that he was coming alone, not tagging along the trail of the Orb princess. "I'm terribly sorry, it seems I made you wait a long time."

"Um…no" he responds as he turns to fully face me. He seems out of it.

"Is something the matter?"

"No, nothing at all." He says. I'm a little disappointed when his deep green eyes are averted to look at the ground. Something is definitely bothering him, but I will leave it alone for now. Besides, despite the fact that I hate it when he's in turmoil, Athrun looks really cute when he's confused and I'm quite content as I gaze at his beautiful visage.

Alpha2nd: Right, so that's the end of this chapter. Its moving quite slowly, but I'm following the episodes, the quotes are actually from the show. Now keep in mind, this fic will now be slightly AU. I will be either twisting the meaning of scenes to my needs, changing them slightly, or completely omitting them. Review please!


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